A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'
The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?' The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.'
The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.' After a few minutes the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Good news. Her nurse has told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine. Her blood work just came back as normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged Tuesday.'
The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news.'
The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'
The Grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302.
No one tells me shit.'
Vance
Tuesday Funny
-
Mark 88/M5 Houston
- Posts: 8548
- Joined: Feb 12, 2006
- Location: Far North Houston
How about one more, after all it's Tuesday we deserve a laugh
At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the
> caretaker at your country house.'
>
> 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
>
> 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is
> dead'
>
> 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
>
> 'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
>
> 'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he
> die from?'
>
> 'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
>
> 'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
>
> 'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
>
> 'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
>
> 'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
>
> 'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
>
> 'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'
>
> 'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'
>
> 'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
> fire.'
>
> 'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of
> a candle?? !!'
>
> 'Yes, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?'
>
> 'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'
>
> 'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I
> thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new tailor made Super
> Quad 460 golf club.'
>
>
> SILENCE . . . . . . .. . . LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . .
>
> 'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!!'
>
At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the
> caretaker at your country house.'
>
> 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?'
>
> 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is
> dead'
>
> 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?'
>
> 'Si, Senor, that's the one.'
>
> 'Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he
> die from?'
>
> 'From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?'
>
> 'Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.'
>
> 'Dead horse? What dead horse?'
>
> 'The thoroughbred, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'My prize thoroughbred is dead?'
>
> 'Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart.'
>
> 'Are you insane?? What water cart?'
>
> 'The one we used to put out the fire, Senor.'
>
> 'Good Lord!! What fire are you talking about, man??'
>
> 'The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
> fire.'
>
> 'What the hell?? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of
> a candle?? !!'
>
> 'Yes, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?'
>
> 'For the funeral, Senor Rod.'
>
> 'WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!'
>
> 'Your wife's, Senor Rod', she showed up very late one night and I
> thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new tailor made Super
> Quad 460 golf club.'
>
>
> SILENCE . . . . . . .. . . LONG SILENCE . . . . . . . .
>
> 'Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!!'
>
Awesome!